The word 'hellacious' does not sound very pleasant. Indeed 'hellacious' can mean "formidably difficult," quite an appropriate word to describe 2020. But recently, I found out that 'hellacious' can also mean "remarkably good," putting a positive spin on whatever context it was used in.
I like the latter meaning better. In this blog post, I count 12 of my blessings through 2020, a year full of twists and turns for everyone still surviving.
Before I start my list, I want to acknowledge that I come from a position of privilege, protected by a sturdy roof over my head, with more than enough food on the table. In writing this post, I have no intention to make light of the grim events happening all around the world. Instead I hope to inspire you, my reader, to remind ourselves of the blessings we have, no matter big or small, for they will surely become a boat that will carry us through this turbulent storm.
ONE.
More than anything else, I am thankful that my loved ones (and myself) continue to be healthy during these difficult times. In addition to acting responsibly, I think it's important for everyone to maintain our immunity through healthy diet and exercise.
TWO.
I was lucky enough to be rewarded with a significant honor this year. I won the NSF GRFP fellowship! While I could immediately appreciate the salary boost, the intellectual freedom that I gained–being able to work on the research project of my choice without being tied down by my advisor's grants or TA-ships–it is something that I came to appreciate a lot more after I received it. As a maturing graduate student, now I understand better why this award is so valuable. I would like to thank everyone who has supported me through this point, especially my advisor who provided a lot of help through the application process and for encouraging me to apply in the first place. To pay it forward, I have written an "NSF GRFP advice" post, with all my application materials available for download.
THREE.
I passed my PhD preliminary examinations! I am very, very relieved that I did. I definitely studied harder than I did for my undergrad finals. Although I really hated the prelims stress, I understand why it's an important requirement for PhD candidates. This exam really forces us to thoroughly learn the fundamentals so that we are well equipped to apply these fundamentals to contribute new knowledge in our research field.
FOUR.
I got even closer to my family :) Our family members are currently split in 3 different places, across 2 US states and Asia. We have always held regular family FaceTime sessions everyday for as long as we've been apart in different places. Although I frequently joined the family chat even before this quarantine period, I typically chose not to appear at all if I were busy. This quarantine period gave me the time and convenience to talk to my family every single day.
FIVE.
I reconnected with old friends. Spurred by the restlessness and spare time, many of my once-dormant group chats became active during the quarantine period. We called each other to see how we were doing, how the situation was like over at our places, and of course commiserated together about the entire situation.
SIX.
When the lockdown started, I was forced to stop my research progress. Suddenly, I became relatively free, the free-est I had been for a while. I spent my free time working on this blog: designing the website the way I wanted it, planning blog content, and writing up posts. Now that I'm almost done setting up my blog, I'm really glad that I worked on it.
SEVEN.
I tried out so many new recipes during this quarantine period! I've always enjoyed cooking up new dishes, but I could hardly find the energy to do so during the school semester. I took the opportunity to venture into baking (lavender cookies, cheesecake, etc.), made jars of jam, and tried other random recipes that I found on YouTube. It was great.
EIGHT.
When I went back to the lab, I found out that I gained a new ability from quarantine–I could mentally disconnect from work at will! I'm not sure exactly how or why this happened, but it's definitely a positive thing. It seems that I learned to relax my mind and enjoy myself during the free time that I had. Now I work hard when I'm working and I relax fully when I'm relaxing.
NINE.
I made a goal this past summer to read more research papers to keep up with the field. I reached it. I'm definitely reading a lot more papers these days and getting better at reading them day by day. I still can't follow a regular routine for reading papers, so I binge-read a bunch of them in bursts of time. My current goal is to take three-sentence notes for all the papers I read.
TEN.
One of the best things that came out of this quarantine situation is the flourishing of webinars worldwide. I've been happily participating in many different webinars and online conferences to learn new things inside and outside my field, to learn about different career paths, and to learn about diversity issues within the STEM field.
ELEVEN.
Driven by the death of George Floyd and the subsequent Black Lives Matter movement, more scientists have begun to educate ourselves about diversity issues and speak up for marginalized communities. One particularly successful social media movement happened on Twitter: #BlackIn____ hashtags in a diverse range of disciplines from physics to neuroscience helped Black scientists find one another. This helped create communities where people came together to share their experiences and discuss ways to call for attention and action toward these diversity issues. One thing I learned from these online conversations was that "Representation matters." Representation truly matters, because it's important for young children to see role models who look like themselves, so they can see for themselves all the untainted possibilities that they have.
TWELVE.
COVID-19 vaccines have begun to be distributed in the United States! Although it will take some time before the vaccines reach everyone, I hope this signals the start of a new era, of healing, of progress, and toward equity.
That conclude my list of twelve blessings in 2020! Do we have common items? What's in your list?